I promised myself I would try to stay positive. I was going to finish ripping on Donald “The Combover’s Not A Weave” Trump. It was going to be fun, hilarious (at least to me), and JOOOOOOOOGE.
Then a normal day in America happened. Some douche waffle decides to show how much of a real man he is by shooting a bunch of unarmed people in a church.
In prepping for this, I did a very innocent Google search for “Charleston Shooting” the day after it happened. And what to my wondering eyes do appear:
Yeah it’s been fixed, but still. Pissed me off. Shouldn’t you have to add the word RANGE to get sponsored links for said shooting range? I was very tempted to post right away and get out my anger at this person who’s name I refuse to use, and the gun culture in this country. Thankfully, a friend of mine explained a rule she uses around stuff like this: Wait a while. The picture will become clearer. I vacillated over the last several days wondering which tact I would take. Would I be my usual snarky self? What pathway would I follow? Guns? Racism? Symbolism? The stupid things Fox and other outlets have said about it?
As is always predictable in these “Rare occurrences,” we never talk about the things that are important. We always try to deflect to what are ancillary issues (h/t to Chez Pazienza for that phrase if you don’t read him, you should.). Things like “video games are to blame,” or “it was just a lone wolf,” or the most heinous of all “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” We also get the disgusting deflection: “Well, what about black on black crime?”
The previous paragraph leads me to the bastion of dimwittedness that is Fox and Friends. Why the hell didn’t Fox wake up one of the actual reporters on the station. Hell even Sean Hannity or Bill-O(tm) the Wonder Douche would have been better than listening to noted failed anchor man Steve Doocy try to figure out why the racist dipshit had to reload 5 times to kill 9 people. Maybe… IT’S BECAUSE HE SHOT PEOPLE MORE THAN ONCE YOU STUPID DOUCHEWAFFLE. Or the other morons on the show suggesting that it’s a hate crime alright, but a hate crime against… Christians. You know, because it was in a church. Not necessarily because it’s in one of the most historic places in race relations in this country. And of course they continued to double down even after they caught the guy and he admitted it was to start a race war. As one of my friends says… “Hold on while I mix you up bucket of crazy”
It would be very easy to continue down this line and pile on Fox and Friends. It’s fun, and what all the cool liberals do. I’m going to go around to the rear flank. (Not that rear flank, Senator Graham). A friend of mine and I were having a conversation on twitter the other day and it hit me. I’ve heard people say (and I largely agree by the way) that these old bigoted, homophobic assholes are getting old and dying off. Time and demographics are not on their side, look at the shift in attitudes on the crazy, icky homo gay marriage as an example. Much to my (and several other of my friends’) chagrin, my marriage is still intact, and no one has knocked on my door to force me to gay marry the simple little electrician… but I digress.
Back to what hit me… These sorts of incidents are the death throes of the south shall rise again movement… really originally incited by Richard Nixon’s Southern Strategy. You see, Nixon was an arrogant, narcissistic (we’re #6!), asshole. And while the right loves to argue that Hillary Clinton (warning: Daily Caller Link) or Barack Obama (Bigger warning: Rush Limbaugh link) would do anything to win, Nixon was the master. Crack open your history books for a little lesson, and turn to the 1860’s. Back then, the republican party was arguably the more progressive of the two parties, particularly around racial issues. They were out to get rid of slavery. Democrats, including uber progressive Woodrow Wilson 50 years later, were not exactly known for their racial tolerance. But there was a big shift coming in the mid-late 1960’s. First, the Civil Rights act of 1964 was passed. By a Democrat. From the south. Also 1964 saw the abolishment of the poll tax via the 24th Amendment. This and other progress infuriated a lot of the so-called “Dixie-crats” who traditionally voted Democratic and were only a generation or two removed from the Civil War. Johnson decides to not run for re-election and Nixon sees his chance, and the southern strategy is born.
So who did Nixon have help from in creating the southern strategy that turned the south from a solid Democratic Party voting block? A few interesting names pop up. One was Pat Buchanan… we all know what’s happened to him, he’s been a conservative pundit for some time. There’s another young buck, that many people have not heard of, but are touched by him every day–the head of Fox News Channel, Roger Ailes. That’s right, the highest rated news station on cable is run by one of the key staffers who developed the southern strategy.
So think about this… one of the most gifted states rights manipulators of our time is running a news network that caters to those very old, stodgy conservatives who are afraid of the N-word in the white house taking their guns. What better way to keep us from joining the rest of the industrialized world when it comes to things like health care, sensible gun control, better education, a strong, robust middle class, and many other things that we all pretty much agree on than to fan the flames of debates that were decided decades ago. Suddenly Steve Douchey and Brian Killme’s reactions make a heck of a lot more sense.
Hate to tell that asshat that shot all those people to start a race war that Roger Ailes beat you to it. In the 1960’s.