Holy hell, it’s been a while

My good buddy the paleo published another great post today which inspired me to get the hell out here and write. Jeebus, I’m rusty.

I’d really like to talk about my neighbor’s kid being killed by police, but all it will do is make me want to ride the Lexapro pony and get really really rage-filled.

Instead I want to talk about Mr. Sanders and Mrs. Clinton, the two people who one of which will kick the shit out of either the orange-haired, small-handed parasite or Joe McCarthy’s doppelgänger come November.

First, the short version

  • To the Bernie or Bust people: STFU
  • To the Bernie Bros: STFU
  • To anyone who won’t vote for the eventual nominee whomever that is: STFU
  • To the Clinton supporters who think women need to vote for Hillary because they share the same chromosomal make up: STFU

I’m not saying “get in line behind Hillary” far from it. Just quit acting like petulant children, or a petulant child will be running the country.

Democrats, liberals, progressives, you don’t realize how good you have it. I love Bernie and I love Hillary. I don’t like some of the things Hillary has done (Iraq War vote), I don’t like some of the things Bernie has done (guns).

Now, my impatient hipster millennials, lemme ‘splain somethin’ to you: Bernie is not investing down ticket. The unicorns and rainbows he’s promising don’t matter if we have a congress like it is now. You think Obama had problems, wait till we have a president with no coalition. There’s a reason the superdelegates are not flocking to him after his streak of state-level victories. Bernie is not investing down ticket. Hillary Clinton is. Think about that for a moment.

While we’re at it, lets talk about “winning states.” It don’t mean jack. What matters is delegates. Winning a state primary or caucus is like winning an inning of baseball. I’ve watched my beloved Cleveland Indians win many an inning, but still consistently lose games more than most teams in baseball.

Sanders is not winning enough delegates to cut into Hillary’s lead enough to make it interesting. Hillary is likely going to win out. She has the advantage in Nate Silver’s polls plus forecasts in New York, Pennsylvania, and California. That would pretty much bring her to the requisite numbers of delegates to have a lock on the nomination.

Am I suggesting Bernie bow out? No, I don’t think that he should. If he were smart, he’d begin turning this thing he has into an honest political machine the way Howard Dean did with Democracy for America or the President has done with Organizing for Action. Begin working hard for the change that you want. The one thing that Republicans have done very well is infiltrate state and local government. They’ve got the support in place to execute their agendas at a state level very well.

Well, I may end up riding the lexapro pony anyway after this. I believe I need to help Paleotectonics break up the banks. I’m the only person he knows that has a large-bore offset motor with a kickstart.

I’m back, ma’af’ks

I’m finally at a point where I feel comfortable writing. Work has slowed down a bit, health concerns on the home front have died down, and dammit, I need to be juvenile.

I may delve back into the Stone Mountain Klan Racist Surrender Monkey Confederate Flag (yeah, that’s it) celebration in an upcoming post… I have things to get off my chest. I started on it before all the personal fun, but at this point it’s really old news.

So…

WhatShallWeTalkAbout
What shall we talk about?

Let’s talk about FREE HELICOPTER RIDES FOR KIDS! Everyone’s favorite jackass and hair critter symbiote offered free helicopter rides to kids at the Iowa State Fair, otherwise known as that place where presidential candidates go to get pictures of themselves taken eating corn dogs… that are then made into bj jokes by permanent 12-year-olds like yours truly. The Iowa State Fair, however, was having none of the helicopter rides, and Trump had to move it offsite.

I have to say, Trump roaring in on the helicopter made for decent political theatre. Honestly, it humanized the guy a little, yet still left room for that flashy Trump style that teabaggers and Apprentice fans love. It was also very smart… It got focus onto the helicopter–which if you search on Google for “trump 7 million dollar helicopter” you’ll see that talking point has made it’s way across a variety of media sources:

TrumpCopter

Far be it from me to defend Trump, but what does it matter how much the helicopter costs, or for that matter, how much he’s made? Here’s what the Daily Beast says on the subject:

Donald Trump says he’s really rich—worth nearly $9 billion ($8,737,540,000 to be exact). Forbes estimates that he’s worth less than half that much, around $4 billion.

Nine billion or four billion? Who really cares? Powerball and Mega Millions winners don’t make anywhere near that much. Forbes top 400 richest people in the US are all billionaires… there’s only about 215 more, meaning a mere 615 people make more than one billion dollars… There a handful more people in the town I went to high school in… and that’s saying something.

What’s my point here? Donald Trump doesn’t care about anyone who isn’t rich. He claims he’s going to deport all the illegal immigrants. I’m not going to rip it now, but wouldn’t that mean a large percentage of his work will suddenly be gone? He’s really just saying what everyone wants to hear, and before you say this is what politicians do, he’s saying what his base is thinking as well. Sadly what they’re thinking is ugly: Obama’s illegitimacy,

Let’s contrast with what Bernie Sanders is saying, which is again what his base is thinking.

  • Break up the big banks
  • Election Reform
  • Racial Justice
  • Economic Equity

All positive topics. All things that we can have a discussion about. And here’s a little secret: the things Bernie wants, a majority of Americans want.

Trump is just saying get rid of the brown people. Oh yeah. And then there’s these fart noises that come out of the hair parasite.

Full Disclosure: I’m not a Sanders supporter. I’ve not picked who I’m going to caucus for next year. I also don’t want a coronation of this candidate or that one. I want honest debate and solutions, things that most everyone wants.

Except a few rich white guys and the rednecks they’ve hoodwinked.

Peace out until next time, when I’m likely in a beer and chocolate-filled rage,

TehBurgemeester

Small Respite

I’m not going to get a decent post in this week. I’m really trying hard to post on a schedule, but life, as always has other ideas.

I mentioned in passing in an earlier post that I was in a hospital waiting room. I’m shepherding a family member through some surgery (a two-part ordeal with a ton of healing… bye bye July). I’ve not been able to dig deep and bring out some snark.

I promise I am working on a post or two that I hope to bring to the yearning fives and fives of you who read me.

In the interim, I encourage you to check out some of the blogs and podcasts on the sidebar. I’m going to highlight a new blog that I’m really impressed with: Diverse World Coaching. Svegi is doing a great job over there and encouraging great discussion.

If you want some really funny liberal talk, check out Stephanie Miller, and The Bob and Chez Show. Make sure you listen to Bob and Chez this week, (and Stephanie too) because they convinced Dan Bidondi to join them.

If you like the Minnesota stuff, check out the great shows on AM950

Peace Out

tehBurgemeester

My God. It’s full of morons.

Sometimes good things come to those who wait. While I was recovering from my Charleston shooting screed and working on this post, which was originally reserved entirely for the hero douchebags not only need but deserve, a certain New Jersey governor jumped in so hard, it knocked a smile onto his wife’s face. After the part of the speech I saw, (had I not been in a hospital waiting room I would have never seen it live), all I could think of was comparing her to Herman Cain. Seriously. Whatever she was on, I need some. Especially after the stressful week of guiding a family member through surgery. Seriously, Mary Pat, don’t bogart the good stuff.

But I digress…

There’s a dream I’ve had since the Christie announcement. Please, if there’s a God(s) or Goddess(es) out there let it come down to Trump, Christie, and maybe Cruz or Paul (for some extra crispy crazy) for the last debate. Can you imagine what the exchange between these three stooges would look like? If Cruz or Paul were in the debate, I think it would look a little something like this:

I probably won’t get my wish…but a guy can dream, can’t he?

People have started to wake up to Trump (both pro and con) and his old rich guy racist rants, although it seems that he may well be dragging the rest of the clown parade down with him (blessings and good karma upon the Telegraph for finding this lovely picture). Which means the lower the entire field falls, the more chance he has of making the debates. I find it interesting that his empire can’t find the doorknob to the bathroom in the morning without the hispanic immigrants (illegal might I add) who he claims are ne’er-do-wells.

It’s a very interesting parallel we’ve got going on right now between the national political stage and the state/local political stage going on. I’ve debated writing a post on the Traitor’s Battle Flag debate. I very well still may. But as I watch sponsor after sponsor dump the Trump, it makes me think of how the flag is losing ground as well, despite a very bizarre cadre of people such as this government employee in Albert Lea, Minnesota. They, like TehTrumpenator are simply grasping at straws. Straws that are rapidly decomposing.

Cheers.

TehBurgemeester

All Aboard! The Train to Doucheland Town Is Leaving the Station

I promised myself I would try to stay positive. I was going to finish ripping on Donald “The Combover’s Not A Weave” Trump. It was going to be fun, hilarious (at least to me), and JOOOOOOOOGE.

Then a normal day in America happened. Some douche waffle decides to show how much of a real man he is by shooting a bunch of unarmed people in a church.

In prepping for this, I did a very innocent Google search for “Charleston Shooting” the day after it happened. And what to my wondering eyes do appear:

Charleston Shooting Google Search

 

Yeah it’s been fixed, but still. Pissed me off. Shouldn’t you have to add the word RANGE to get sponsored links for said shooting range? I was very tempted to post right away and get out my anger at this person who’s name I refuse to use, and the gun culture in this country. Thankfully, a friend of mine explained a rule she uses around stuff like this: Wait a while. The picture will become clearer. I vacillated over the last several days wondering which tact I would take. Would I be my usual snarky self? What pathway would I follow? Guns? Racism? Symbolism? The stupid things Fox and other outlets have said about it?

As is always predictable in these “Rare occurrences,” we never talk about the things that are important. We always try to deflect to what are ancillary issues (h/t to Chez Pazienza for that phrase if you don’t read him, you should.). Things like “video games are to blame,” or “it was just a lone wolf,” or the most heinous of all “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” We also get the disgusting deflection: “Well, what about black on black crime?”

The previous paragraph leads me to the bastion of dimwittedness that is Fox and Friends. Why the hell didn’t Fox wake up one of the actual reporters on the station. Hell even Sean Hannity or Bill-O(tm) the Wonder Douche would have been better than listening to noted failed anchor man Steve Doocy try to figure out why the racist dipshit had to reload 5 times to kill 9 people. Maybe… IT’S BECAUSE HE SHOT PEOPLE MORE THAN ONCE YOU STUPID DOUCHEWAFFLE. Or the other morons on the show suggesting that it’s a hate crime alright, but a hate crime against… Christians. You know, because it was in a church. Not necessarily because it’s in one of the most historic places in race relations in this country. And of course they continued to double down even after they caught the guy and he admitted it was to start a race war. As one of my friends says… “Hold on while I mix you up bucket of crazy”

It would be very easy to continue down this line and pile on Fox and Friends. It’s fun, and what all the cool liberals do. I’m going to go around to the rear flank. (Not that rear flank, Senator Graham). A friend of mine and I were having a conversation on twitter the other day and it hit me. I’ve heard people say (and I largely agree by the way) that these old bigoted, homophobic assholes are getting old and dying off. Time and demographics are not on their side, look at the shift in attitudes on the crazy, icky homo gay marriage as an example. Much to my (and several other of my friends’) chagrin, my marriage is still intact, and no one has knocked on my door to force me to gay marry the simple little electrician… but I digress.

Back to what hit me… These sorts of incidents are the death throes of the south shall rise again movement… really originally incited by Richard Nixon’s Southern Strategy. You see, Nixon was an arrogant, narcissistic (we’re #6!), asshole. And while the right loves to argue that Hillary Clinton (warning: Daily Caller Link) or Barack Obama (Bigger warning: Rush Limbaugh link) would do anything to win, Nixon was the master. Crack open your history books for a little lesson, and turn to the 1860’s. Back then,  the republican party was arguably the more progressive of the two parties, particularly around racial issues. They were out to get rid of slavery. Democrats, including uber progressive Woodrow Wilson 50 years later, were not exactly known for their racial tolerance. But there was a big shift coming in the mid-late 1960’s. First, the Civil Rights act of 1964 was passed. By a Democrat. From the south. Also 1964 saw the abolishment of the poll tax via the 24th Amendment. This and other progress infuriated a lot of the so-called “Dixie-crats” who traditionally voted Democratic and were only a generation or two removed from the Civil War. Johnson decides to not run for re-election and Nixon sees his chance, and the southern strategy is born.

So who did Nixon have help from in creating the southern strategy that turned the south from a solid Democratic Party voting block? A few interesting names pop up. One was Pat Buchanan… we all know what’s happened to him, he’s been a conservative pundit for some time. There’s another young buck, that many people have not heard of, but are touched by him every day–the head of Fox News Channel, Roger Ailes. That’s right, the highest rated news station on cable is run by one of the key staffers who developed the southern strategy.

So think about this… one of the most gifted states rights manipulators of our time is running a news network that caters to those very old, stodgy conservatives who are afraid of the N-word in the white house taking their guns. What better way to keep us from joining the rest of the industrialized world when it comes to things like health care, sensible gun control, better education, a strong, robust middle class, and many other things that we all pretty much agree on than to fan the flames of debates that were decided decades ago. Suddenly Steve Douchey and Brian Killme’s reactions make a heck of a lot more sense.

Hate to tell that asshat that shot all those people to start a race war that Roger Ailes beat you to it. In the 1960’s.

The Burgemeester.

I picked a hellofa day to quit drinking

I technically am writing this post before my introductory post, but the strange and bizarre tale of Rachel Dolezal took an even stranger turn today. This particular story is when I decided I should have continued drinking the things that erase your memory.

As the whitest white boy to ever white, I probably shouldn’t be even wading into this, but I watch racial discrimination happening all around me. I live in a very ethnically diverse part of a major upper midwest city. If local news is to be believed that’s dog whistle for where the B-L-A-C-K people live. And where the only crime ever ever happens. My neighbor to the south, for example, gets pulled over regularly by police, “just to check up on him.” You can guess what he looks like.

I can’t decide what to think of this woman. The most excellent Stephanie Miller was discussing this on her show this morning and I agree with many of the arguments being made on either side of the debate. You will get to know that when I see or agree with both sides of something, I get a little annoyed*.

She has accomplished quite a few things, taught many students, other artwork on her art blog look quite decent.  She’s clearly worked very hard to get where she is. On the other hand, as I heard several people very eloquently put it on Steph’s show this morning, she’s claiming a heritage that she just doesn’t have. The NAACP stuck up for her, so apparently they wanted to not completely discard her years of service.

And now for a hastily prepared history lesson prompted by the following portion of the statement:

One’s racial identity is not a qualifying criteria or disqualifying standard for NAACP leadership.

Walter White (and no, not THAT Walter White) had blonde hair and blue eyes and looked European, but was of mixed decent. He used his appearance to help investigate lynchings and riots in the 1920’s and would rise to lead the NAACP where he would fight to end segregation. Why could not have Ms. Dolezal chosen this path? Now her accomplishments are overshadowed by scandal that didn’t have to happen in the first place.

I suspect there’s something she needs to get out with a therapist, or maybe Maury Povich. Or maybe both. And our Kardashian-fueled culture demands that this happen all at once, in prime time. Her parents need some help too, in my opinion, for I don’t understand why they’d very publicly blow the whistle on their own daughter instead of getting her the help she probably needs, and avoiding embarrassing her publicly.

In the end, what I think everyone should take from this is BE WHO YOU FUCKING ARE. If you identify with a culture, fine, you’ll get no judgement from this pathetic excuse for a snarky internet troll. Just be honest. As tempted as I am to snark the hell out of our friend here (especially after the article I linked to at the top), I think I’ll just let the twitterverse handle it.

Cheers, tehburgemeester

*For all that is good and holy, why can’t I find a clip of Toby from the West Wing saying “I agree with Josh and I agree with Sam and you know how that makes me”